


No Going Back

by kierenmonroe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, kinda underage bc sam is seventeen??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 21:32:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4074592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierenmonroe/pseuds/kierenmonroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Sammy, if we do this…”</p><p>“There’s no going back, Dean.  I know.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Going Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Wincest fic (that I've posted) so I hope this is okay. I know this is just like every other Wincest first kiss AU, so bear with me.

It all starts one day when John is off on a hunt.  He’s deemed it too dangerous for the boys—Sam demands that they let him tag along, since he’s just turned seventeen—but John shoots him down.  The only way Sam quiets is if Dean stays with him in the little cabin they’re “renting” up in the mountains somewhere near California.

It started out innocent.  They were wrestling, trying to burn off the adrenaline that had started pumping before they were told they weren’t going to be hunting.  Sam currently had Dean pinned, straddling his older brothers chest.

“I win again, Dean.  You’re slipping.”

Dean barks out a laugh and flips them around so that Sam is the one pinned.  He leans in a close, pushing Sam farther back into the grass.  “Look at that, Sammy.  I win.”

He expects a sarcastic remark but instead, he just sees Sam’s stunned face.  He’s staring at Dean with wide eyes, his mouth open a fraction as he struggles for air.  He huffs out a breath and his eyes flick down to Dean’s mouth.  Dean licks his lips, an unconscious reaction, and feels himself lean in closer.  Sam cranes his neck up so there’s barely any space between the two of them.  It’s like they’ve entered their own little world, hidden by the long blades of grass.

A loud band echoes through the air and Dean jerks back like he’s been burned.  He stands stiffly, extending a hand out to Sam.  He hauls the younger boy to his feet and forces a smile.  “That’s enough for now, Sam.  Let’s get dinner going.”  He turns on his heel and before Sam can react, he’s in the house, the door slamming shut behind him.

\--

“Dean?”

Dean nearly drops the wooden spoon in his hand.  He’s standing in front of the stove, replaying the moment that had passed between him and Sam.  _Disgusting.  He’s your brother, he’ll think you’re disgusting._

“What do you want, Sam?”  

Silence.  He turns on his heel, ready to yell at Sam to just spit it out already, but his brother is standing there looking so vulnerable and young that Dean puts down the spoon and turns down the heat on the pasta.  “What is it?” he asks, more gently this time.

“I just…I wanted to talk to you.  About earlier.”

Dean looks down at his feet.  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yes, there is.  And you know it.”

Dean bites his tongue and turns his head to the side, looking out the window.  It’s getting dark, and he can see the distant lights of a faraway city.  “Sam, listen.  Whatever happened out there shouldn’t have, alright?  I was just—” He shakes his head.  “It was stupid.”

“No, it wasn’t!”  Sam steps closer and Dean moves away from the stove, leaning back against the counter.  “Don’t pretend nothing happened, Dean.  I _wanted_ it to happen, don’t you see?”

Dean swears he can hear his pulse racing in his ears.  “You what?”

Sam laughs and steps closer.  This time, Dean doesn’t move except to drop his arms down at his sides.  Sam moves even closer, closing the space between them slowly enough that Dean could move if he wanted to.  _You don’t want to,_ his brain supplies.  He doesn’t fight it, just lets Sam step closer until he can feel the other boy’s body heat radiating out against his chest.  He feels his chest constrict and he fights for breath as Sam reaches out and lays a gentle hand on Dean’s arm.

“Please, Dean.  I promise you, I want this.  And I think that you do, too.”

He leans closer and at the last second Dean’s hand shoots out, holding Sam back.  He can feel his brother’s heart pounding against his palm and he knows Sam isn’t lying.  “Sammy, if we do this...”

Sam smiles.  “There’s no going back, I know.  But what if I don’t wanna go back?”

They’re silent for a moment and Dean slowly lets his hand drop, sliding down Sam’s arm to take his hand.  He nods and Sam leans forward, until his lips are just barely brushing against Dean’s.  They both know the gravity of this, of what they’re doing and exactly how wrong it is, and Dean can feel the hesitation rolling off Sam in waves. He grips his hand tighter and whispers, “It’s okay, Sammy.  I got you.”

Then Dean closes the gap and his lips are finally, _finally_ against Sam’s.  It’s not fireworks or sparks or anything near what all the books and movies pretend it is, but it’s like air after a long time underwater.  It’s not the most intense kiss they’ll share, not by a longshot.  But Sam is shaking in Dean’s arms and its perfect.  It’s exactly as Dean had hoped it would be, and he never wants to go back.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you thought!


End file.
